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An Introduction to Erotic Roleplay

May 17th, 2015

"Come here, Fifi."
"Oui, monsieur?"
"If I remember correctly, and I always remember things correctly, I asked you to dust the grand piano."
"Oui, monsieur. But I did not, how you say, have zee time. But I shall do it now."
"No, Fifi. I'm afraid that because you did not dust the grand piano you shall have to be ... disciplined. Do you understand, Fifi?"
"Oui, monsieur. I understand. Shall I...?"
"Yes, Fifi: remove your panties and come here."

The characters might be cardboard and the dialogue is wooden but role play, where partners try out different characters in the bedroom, can be a lot of very sexy fun and open all kinds of otherwise hidden erotic doors. Just think of it this way: you can change your lingerie, you can change your sex toys, change where and when you get naked and do the horizontal mambo, but you will always be you – but not if you pretend to be someone else. Role-play gives you and your lover a chance to enter a whole new erotic world full of wild new characters, situations, dynamics and – best of all – fun.

Think of the possibilities, aside from our French maid and her employer: the repairman and the housewife, the schoolteacher and the student, the seductive spy, the doctor and the patient, the tourist and the local, the private detective, the hooker and the client ... the list is as long as there are characters, situations, and the imagination and lust of the performers. Remember that flick – you know the one – that really "got to you"? The one that made you, sitting in the cinema or on your couch, sit up a bit straighter when that unexpectedly erotic scene came on? Well, with role play here's your chance to actually be that character and live out that scene. Always wanted to try out power exchange, you know that Master and Slave dynamic, but didn't know where to start? With role-play you can try it out by being a character instead of getting stage fright by trying it out as your nervous self.

As with a lot of sex stuff, the trick with role-play is simplicity and comfort. In short, keep it simple and, most of all, keep it safe. Many folks, unfortunately, think of role-play as something like serious acting: they think they need to create intense and far-too-deep characters. This is fine and dandy for an amateur production of Death of a Salesman but, in the bedroom, surprises are not always a good thing. Remember, folks: you're going for an orgasm and not an Oscar. A scene between Fifi and her boss that twists to our little submissive French maid quitting and threatening him with a sexual harassment charge might be dimensional, realistic, and intense but it wouldn't necessarily be sexually fun. Like said, keep it simple: Fifi stays Fifi and her boss stays his kinky self.

The same rule goes for the scenes you select. I said that role-play gives you a chance to be the characters in some of your favorite films but that doesn't mean you should re-enact the Squeal like a pig scene from Deliverance. To begin, try selecting characters and situations with a light power imbalances – no cops and serial killers, no assassins and victims: nothing too scary or intense. Try the classics, even the comically cliché: aside from the already-mentioned student, repair guy, hooker and client, and so forth, think painter and model, pool boy, door-to-door salesman (or woman) ... you get the gist. Remember, you're not auditioning for a role, you're having fun and, as with a lot of sex play, if you're not having fun you need to change what you're doing.

A word about that power dynamic: it's going to pop up so approach role-play with a degree of caution. Sure, you may not think of yourself as a dominant or a submissive but sometimes when you step out of yourself ... well, bang you find yourself in that role and you find yourself enjoying it. That's why; again, with role-play – and lots of other sex play – you should make it simple and safe. Trust in role play is essential: sure you're having giggles pretending to be someone you're not, but if something disturbing does come up you should be acting with someone who can drop the role and be there for you. If you're nervous about someone being dominant or submissive, try selecting scenes that are either more balanced or try switching off: you be the sexually aggressive one this time, your partner taking the reins the next. But if you – or your other half – are comfy with one side of the dynamic, then there's no reason to switch at all.

Warnings aside, role-play is also a chance to have a lot of fun and not just with the performances and the characters. If your first steps work out well, and you have a blast with your role-play, then try shopping for clothes, toys, or even planning a getaway with you, your honey, and your other selves. In fact the next time you plan a trip, try putting in some time to add the new locale to your play: the tourist and the local works really well when you're actually out-of-town. Back to shopping: want to really be someone else? Then try picking out and putting on new clothes that he or she would wear. This works really well for more explicitly erotic characters – hooker and client, for example – where even looking for kinky lingerie can sometimes be enough to put a lot of couples into sexual overdrive. Costumes and new identities also come with Halloween, which is a great opportunity to try a first tentative step into adding new situations and characters to your bedroom but, here we go again, try not to bring a serial killer between the sheets. Still, when the October 31 swings around again and you find you and your partner picking out costumes, you might try entertaining a matching pair that wouldn't just wow them at whatever parties you might be going to, but also wow each other at home afterwards.

Yes, there are a few risks involved with role play, as there are with a lot of sex games, but don't let that stop you and your honey from trying not just a new technique, a new device or gizmo, but brand new people: with role play you can add a whole new dimension to your sex lives, introduce a whole new cast of characters, and expand your play to include not just what you and your partner are, but also the different people you both could be.

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